Die Shellsuit, Die!

An Alternative Music Magazine

Profugus Mortis

Blackguard

Despite touting death metal shanties and having a guitarist called Terry Roadcase, Canada’s Blackguard have none of the battle-hardened good humour of, say, Turisas - despite being just as ludicrous.

This album goes by in a blur of white noise, mostly, with what sounds like a string quartet on speed playing from inside a bucket. That said, In Time makes the band sound like metal’s 2 Unlimited thanks to its insanely cheap-sounding keys wrestling with scratchy, gargling vocals. The Last We Wage could be their stab for Eurovision glory, if Lordi hadn’t got there first (and the ‘guard weren’t Canadian).

‘Songs In The Key of Grim’ could be an alternative title. If your tolerance for this sort of thing is measured in alcohol, it’s rum - two barrels, at least.

Listen: www.myspace.com/blackguard