Die Shellsuit, Die!

An Alternative Music Magazine

Nobody’s Daughter

Hole

It’s worth noting that there are no original members of Hole left (don’t say Courtney, have you seen her face recently?

There ain’t nothing original left). So this is essentially a solo album, co-written by Billy Corgan.

In fact over half the tracks are co written by Billy Corgan; although I’m pretty sure he won’t be too happy about this as he has previously stated that, if they were used for the album, "It would be a real big problem, because I haven’t given my permission." & adding "I have no interest in supporting her in any way, shape of form. You can’t throw enough things down the abyss with a person like that."

Big fan then, but then how seriously can you take a man whose dated Jessica Simpson? It should still come as no surprise that the better tracks on the album sound like songs Zwan turned down for being too simplistic & childish.

Saying the better tracks sound like Zwan should give you some idea of how terrible this record really is. It made me laugh out loud at more than one point. Dr. Zuess for angry teenage girls, except the rhyming couplets have no where near the whimsy or intelligence of Green Eggs & Ham. There’s plenty of Cheese though.

I cannot think of that many things I would like to do less than hear a grown up woman, with a child, sing, or rather growl monotonally, about one night stands, or complain about her daddy issues. From what I can gather Ms. Love is mostly singing about herself in third person, which just seems weird & arrogant.

Either that or she really hates women, Tyra Banks would not approve, she thinks women should be nicer to one another, maybe she should be Courtney Love’s new weirdly inappropriate ‘celeb’ friend?

The production is so dire it scares me that a record label would let it be mastered. There is that 90’s big fuzz/power chords moments which are actually pretty fine. It’s also the overlaid electric acoustic guitar, no seriously. There are few things that sound worse on record. It sounds tinny & forced. Then there’s the phaser effects & overdubbing. Oh God it’s painful to listen to.

Just read the track listing to understand that this is embarrassing to all women in rock. It’s like the livejournal of a 14 year old, in the 90’s. Its misandrist to the point it’s misogynist (so man hating it makes me embarrassed to be a woman).

The album artwork is no better, Why is there a picture of a classically painted lady wearing Ugly Betty’s necklace on the back? The front cover artwork is actually Marie Antoinette à la Rose by Élisabeth Vigée-Le Brun and the bust of Anne Boleyn by an unknown artist (who is a huge fan of dramedies about Latin American do gooders in the harsh world of fashion apparently). Why have I seen them before? Oh right they were previously used on the inside the cover of the Hole compilation My Body The Hand Grenade (which didn’t suck that much). Way to be original lady.

Then there are the photos inside: Why is there a picture of her in a bath sicking up blood. Why are her fingernails all blood crusted & like homeless crack addicts? (actually there may be a simple answer to that one). It actually makes you thankful for the recycled stuff.

This record is actually like the woman herself, an absolute plane crash & so humourless it probably hates Steve Coogan as much as she does.

In summary: The theme from M*A*S*H was wrong, suicide is not painless, it’s left us with a crazy turtle lady making just awful records. Not cool.

Listen: www.myspace.com/hole