Die Shellsuit, Die!

An Alternative Music Magazine

Mechanical Lions The EP

Hopeless Heroic

I think we can lay the blame for Hopeless Heroic’s crystal meth Muse squarely with MTV.

Everything can only last a few seconds; otherwise the audience will be bored. Oh, and don’t just play one song at a time - sound like you’re playing at least three or four. Just to make sure your listeners don’t have any time to think. It’s cool, right? That’s the main thing. It can be a musical interpretation of a dinosaur buggering a pheasant but so long as some skinny telly-bot with the right hair says it’s cool, then the kiddy pound / dollar / whatever is satisfied.

The band also makes a thing of having a violinist, like they’ve let their classically-trained mate in to ‘give it some class’. And well they might, for without the fiddle the music is standard sub-Emo bombastic bollocks. By the time we get to track three the band are name-checking Spinal Tap and one wonders what floats down behind them during a live set. A giant fist, perhaps. Or an enlarged copy of the first Rage Against The Machine album, on fire, inside the mouth of a plastic clown. You have no time to think and I don’t think you’re supposed to. I just kept seeing Zane Lowe jumping around making the ‘devil’s horn’ sign with his hands. It’s just wrong.

Listen: www.myspace.com/hopelessheroic