Die Shellsuit, Die!

An Alternative Music Magazine

Craig Owens Update

Chiodos

Craig Owens (Chiodos/Cinematic Sunrise) has written a blog about some problems he’s been going through lately: "So, it’s no secret that I have recently went through one of the hardest times in my life.

On Sunday, July 20th, I attempted to overdose on prescribed Xanax at my home here in Michigan. Flash ahead 12 hours later, I woke up in the emergency room surrounded by my family and best friends, with an IV in my left arm, and hooked up to machines. I felt confused, angry, selfish, and completely embarrassed. After being admitted to the hospital for a couple of days, I made my way to recovery and built up enough strength and courage with the support of my loved ones enough to make it back home.

I am okay, though. Thankfully, I had no permanent physical damage to myself from this.
This isn’t something that I went through by myself. I am, by no means, alone in this. My family and close friends have been by my side each minute since the incident and, you, my fans, have been right there with me too.

I have received an incredible amount of MySpace messages, comments, emails, instant messages, text messages and voice mails supporting me through this time in my life. So many people loved me more than I ever thought and the amount of happiness that this brings to me is more than I ever could describe.

You have all shown me a new, blinding light within myself and from that ray you seem to shine on me with every one of your beautiful comments (and I read every single one of them), not to mention your undeniable support. Thanks to you, I’ve already began to return to my “normal” self- a person that I had forgotten all about.

Why did this happen?

I have been battling with manic depression, bipolar disorder, and constant anxiety attacks for years. This disease has caused me to hide in my bedroom for weeks at a time, push away the most important people in my life, and learn to hate myself even. I have tried to remain strong through the years, fighting off urges and using the undying support of my fans, friends, family, and loved ones to turn my depression into an art- a music to share with the world.

I also have been speaking with a therapist for around a year now, maybe more. This has helped me to come in touch with who I am as a human being and why I do the things that I do. Rationalizing my imperfections and trying to wear them as if they were badges of honor is something that I had learned to pride myself off of- until this incredibly selfish and stupid act I pulled.

What’s next?

I’m looking towards the future and have been blinded by the brightness of it. After taking care of myself over the past few days, and talking through this situation with my family, friends, and managers, I am committed to creating only positive actions out of the deepest and darkest low I have found myself in with this. I will not be canceling any upcoming shows, with the exception of this Sunday’s show (7/27) in Albany, NY with P.O.D and Everclear. My solo show this Saturday (7/26), WILL STILL BE HAPPENING, and will be an emotional and therapeutic experience, to say the least. With it being in Detroit, and being able to perform softly, with spoken-words, and seeing all of the people that have been by my side though this entire thing, I hope to find a new bliss within this rut I have found myself in.

I cannot wait enough to get back out onto the road with Chiodos for our just-announced headlining tour this August to October. Being in front of all of you gives me such strength and if I hadn’t been home so much for the past few months, thinking too much and allowing darkness to overcome me, who knows if this would have even had happened.

I have a long road ahead of me, no doubt, but I feel that this experience has, oddly enough, given me new strength to take control of my situation and it has shown my loved ones (and myself) the seriousness of what I’ve been struggling with too.

I will not stop playing music, writing, or opening myself up to the people that matter most to me. All we have is one another and this entire situation is nothing but a GIANT reminder that we ALL need to stay strong and hold one another up during even the hardest of times.
I love you- Craig."