Die Shellsuit, Die!

An Alternative Music Magazine

We Don’t Wanna Put In (Single)

Stephane & 3G

As we should all know by now, the Eurovision Song contest is the most compelling evidence against human progress.

Everything about it, from the performers to the audience to the songs themselves shrieks of creatures from the drains beneath an evolutionary cul-de-sac. And that’s before we even mention the voting. . . don’t mention the voting. I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it. Who these imbeciles are who think this kind of thing matters I don’t know, but apparently the Georgian entry by some moustachioed berk and three inflatable glitter skeletons has been ‘formally disqualified’ for its ‘anti-Russian lyrics’. Russia hosted the contest this year, you see. They rolled their tanks into Georgia recently and killed a load of people they didn’t like. The banned song is called ‘We Don’t Wanna Put In’. The Russian leader is called Vladimir Putin and is evidently a sensitive chap. Presumably the organisers of Eurovision thought that gunmetal grey artillery would clash with all the spangly dresses and glitter balls, or maybe they didn’t want someone to slip on a stage covered in recently-liquidated TV-present entrails. Anyway, without the political slant this song would be just another piece of also-ran Eurovision cod-disco crap and would sink without a trace. This song is another piece of also-ran Eurovision cod-disco crap. It’ll sink without a trace.

Listen: www.myspace.com/stephane3g