Turin Brakes have managed to produce a new album that is exclusively ‘filler’.
The listener is kept on tenterhooks, expecting something - anything - to happen at any minute. Time is beginning to have no meaning before they realise that they’re on track seven with the worst song title ever committed to paper and regretting another three-quarters of an hour they’ll never get back.
“We loved the idea that these songs were outbursts that were going to happen whether we liked it or not,” ‘Brake Number One says. No thought for the poor listener, clearly. Plus, the title is more than a little disingenuous - an ‘outburst’ suggests something with punch, assertion, aggression, even. Certainly passion, at any rate. If this collection of twee acoustic muzak is an ‘outburst’, expect Mike Tyson to lose his next fight to Alan Carr. And don’t get me started on the ‘emotional’ vocal on songs like Paper Heart. The ‘Brake voice resembles nothing more than James Blunt singing with a gobstopper. Who wants this music for beige-brains? Well, possibly your Mum. Or those middle-managers that pack out the V Festival. Yeah, this is for them.