Die Shellsuit, Die!

An Alternative Music Magazine

NME The Album 2009

Various

Death, taxes, Christmas, the NME compilation album.

All have their own smell, all are inevitable. Here is your bluffer’s guide to Cool, or forty reasons to scream into the night, if you’d rather. The chosen few tracks from the arch taste-makers, ensuring student nights throughout the country sound identical, wherever you are - the musical equivalent of every town having a Starbucks and KFC. Even the presence of Graham C and Karen O can’t save it. They’re pearls amongst swine.

As always, the NME have concentrated so much on keeping their scabby lips fastened around the insipid erection of Cool, they’ve forgotten about the music being any good. If there was an ‘indie’ X-Factor, this would be its soundtrack - the sound of millions of kids doing what they’re told. Where are 2009’s bands from Brew? Kranky? Gringo? Southern? Now that’s what I call music.

Website: www.nme.com